This is something that has truly been one of the most challenging thing about parenting for Corey and me. We have often asked, "What is the line between mercy and tolerance?" How do we know exactly when to punish a behavior and when to let something go? How do we avoid exasperating our children by constantly correcting behaviors that are not acceptable? It is hard! I still don't have all the answers, but if you have some advice, I'd love to hear it! One day last week when I was struggling with this, I found wonderful words of encouragement in God's Word...they are always exactly what we need.
Hebrews 12:10-11 says, "For they (earthly fathers) disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but He does it for our benefit, so that we can share in His holiness. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
So my prayer, as we train our children and discipline them as it "seems good to us," is that it will lead our children to yield the fruit of peace and righteousness in their lives. Thank God that He is a Heavenly Father who always knows what is best and disciplines us for our benefit, that we will "share in His holiness."
If you are going through a painful time in your life, examine yourself to see if it is God's discipline. It may just be a trial that you are going through, however, sometimes God is correcting something in our lives that doesn't line up with His holiness. Remember that it isn't enjoyable at the time, but God is more concerned with our holiness than our happiness. I would much rather my children be safe, be kind, be good people than always give them what they want to make them happy. How much more does God know how to mold us into the image of His Son's holiness and know that only then can we truly be happy and have peace!
If you'd like to comment and share how you deal with discipline or share a time when God has taught you through discipline, feel free! Maybe it will encourage others!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Discipline
Posted by Corey and Melody Cain at 10:32 PM
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2 comments:
I also struggled with that issue when I was raising my kids. The boys will tell you that I was much more lenient with the girls and they are probably right. You tend to figure out what is really important and what isn't by the time you have 4 - or maybe you are just so tired after having 4 that you don't really care as much. :-)
Seriously, we just tried to differentiate between what was childish behaviour - God doesn't expect baby christians to behave like mature christians, so we shouldn't expect children to behave like miniature adults and deliberate disobedience. If they knew what was expected and disobeyed, we punished. If it was accidental or just childish forgetfulness, etc. we were more lenient. We also tried to always differentiate between what the Bible said and what was our opinion ( especially when they got older). If the Bible said it - no negotiation, but if it was our opinion we were more flexible. We tried to say yes if possible so that when we did have to say no they knew there was a reason for it.Sorry this is so long but I get started on the subject and it is hard to stop. You guys are great parents! I love seeing how your boys and Clayton and Jack have such a good time together.
That's wonderful advice...thanks for the for sharing your wisdom and encouragement! You guys raised four wonderful children...I truly value your opinions! We're looking forward to seeing you guys this coming weekend!
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